What's your middle name? And how do you spell that?

When Erin & I were little and still living in Pensacola, Papa and The Meemz would come visit fairly often.  The drive from Lake City to Pensacola was nothing compared to the ridiculous trek from Lake City to TN.   Anywho- this was in the early 90s before bi-polar was really understood at all and The Meemz doctors had not yet found a good mix of her meds to keep her on any kind of even keel.  As a result, the cycles The Meemz went through were fairly extreme, even more so than the ones she goes through now I think.

One of the things the Meemz would fixate on when she was up was lists.  She dearly loved making lists of anything and everything.  Middle names, family members, things she "needed" to buy, types of celery, etc.  Ok, not really the types of celery but you get the idea.  Erin and I were both in middle school at this point, I was in the 6th grade and Erin was in 8th and of course we talked non-stop about all of the fascinating things that were going on in middle school and of course mentioned our friends by name frequently.  Any time that TM was around for one of these scintillating tales, she would stop us each time we mentioned someone and ask us what their middle name was and how they spelled it.  Then she would add it to her list.  I'm not entirely sure what she did with the lists of middle names but I know that she made several of them over the years.  She made lists of our friends middle names, middle names of family members and maybe even middle names of celebrities.  (TM likes to keep up on celebrity "news" you know)

Meemz would also get on organizing jags.  I use the word 'organizing' very loosely here because more often than not, no one could find anything after TM had finished with her organization.  On one particular occasion, TM decided that she needed to reorganize our kitchen.  All of it.  At 3:00 a.m.  Mr. Moe & The Suze were asleep, as most people would be at 3:00 a.m., when they were awakened by a lot of racket coming from the kitchen.  Their room was closest to the kitchen so there was no way they were going to sleep through this.  Mr. Moe got up and went to check things out.  When he came back, his conversation with The Suze went something like this:

TS:  What in the world is making all that racket?
MM:  Your mother.
TS:  What? 
MM:  Your mother.
TS:  Why?  What is she doing in there?
MM:  Cleaning out our cabinets.  All of them.
TS:  Are you serious?
MM:  Can I make this stuff up?

The Meemz has gotten off her organizing kick in recent years but she will still make the odd list here and there.  If you go to her apartment and really look around, you can find all kinds of lists which are highly entertaining.  You can tell that she's talking out loud while she writes them because a lot of them read like a conversation.  There is usually some type of commentary included as well.  Makes for a fascinating read.  Trust me.

Health Tips from The Meemz

If you are one of the many who suffers from migraines, try taping magnets to your forehead.  The Meemz swears that it works.

Where gallbladders are concerned, sometimes you just get a bad one.

Everyone needs a Murine Ear Wax Removal System.

Immodium is your best friend.

Everyone Loves Jewelry (Or should at least)

One of The Meemz' favorite things is jewelry.  Any kind of jewelry, especially holiday themed jewelry.  She loves it dearly and does not understand people who don't share her love.  I am one of those people.  I have long been a source of concern to The Meemz because I don't really care for jewelry.  I almost never wear any and what I do wear is very small and very simple.  The Meemz' has been on a campaign to get me more jewelry for many years but I have not been converted, much to her chagrin.

On any given day, even if she doesn't leave her room, The Meemz will have on 11 rings (at the same time), 8 or 9 bracelets, a watch (or two) and 5 or 6 necklaces.  She will also have on earrings and sometimes will have a pin or two on the shoulder (yes, the shoulder) of her shirt or sweater.  Once I asked her why she had 2 rings on some of her fingers.  Apparently it was a silly question.  The Meemz answer was that some of her rings won't stay on unless she has another ring on top.  Her tone suggested that I should have been able to figure this out on my own....

Once when my sister, Erin, took the Meemz shopping they ended up in the JC Penney jewelry department.  For the Meemz, jewelry from JC Penney and/or Belk is equivalent to jewelry from Tiffany and/or Harry Winston.  The Meemz started look at necklaces and asked Erin what she thought about one in particular.  Erin didn't really care for the necklace but said it was nice anyway, just because that is much easier.  Little did Erin know that The Meemz was picking the necklace out for her.  Erin doesn't wear necklaces, never really has.  She told The Meemz that she doesn't really like necklaces and as you can imagine, that did not go over well.  The Meemz was hell bent on buying some jewelry though, so she bought herself another watch.  When The Suze asked her about the watch later, The Meemz said that Erin told her to buy it because she deserved it.  Sure Meemz, sure she did.....

One Easter the Meemz decided that she wanted to buy birthstone watches for all of her granddaughters.  Oh lawd...  She already had it picked out.  It looked something like this:

Pretty, isn't it?  It's ok, you can say no.  We all did.  Luckily for me, The Suze reminded the Meemz of my aversion to jewelry so I didn't get a watch.  However, Erin, Chelsea, Caitlin and Chan all got one.  And were they ever excited about their watches...  Erin's didn't fit, or so she said, so the Meemz said she would wear that one too.  Of course she bought one for herself too.  The Meemz loves any birthstone-themed piece of jewelry. 

The Meemz will still give me jewelry periodically.  Mostly pieces of her own that she doesn't wear anymore and they all seem to have some kind of story attached......  According to The Meemz, every piece of jewelry she owns is a family heirloom.  We don't actually have any family heirlooms, not that I'm aware of anyway, and if we did I doubt they would be from Belk or JC Penney.  Just saying.

The Meemz does have some very nice pieces of jewelry, mostly stuff that Papa bought her.  One piece is diamond tennis bracelet.  You'd never know that's what it is though because it is so caked with lotion that you can't actually see the diamonds.  I know The Suze and Robin have both tried to clean it, so has Erin but there's just no hope for it.

P.S.  Last Mother's Day the Meemz got a balance bracelet.  She could not stop talking about how beautiful it was. 

P.P.S.  The balance bracelet does not work.  Don't fall for it!

Christmas with The Meemz

When Erin and I were little girls, we not only got stockings from our parents at Christmas, we also got stockings from Meemz & Papa.  Now, most of us would expect things like candy and toys in our stocking at ages 5-7 but if your stocking was being filled by The Meemz you were in a rude awakening.  Instead of candy in our stockings, Erin and I found boxes of Jello.  Instead of toys, we found coupons that Meemz had clipped out of the paper.  We also go toothbrushes, boxes of Chicklets gum and packs of Kleenex.  What 5 year old doesn't love coupons?

The Meemz was also very concerned about the way presents were opened.  Now, most of you know that The Suze likes to save ribbons, the nice, wired kind that she buys holds up well and can easily be reused.  The Meemz, however, was a big fan of the classic 80s bows.  The stick-on kind that came in a bag of about 20 and cost maybe $2.  You had to save those.  She really preferred that you save the wrapping paper too.  Don't rip the paper whatever you do!!  A very realistic request for a kid on Christmas...

Once presents were opened and it came time to eat Christmas lunch or dinner, The Meemz absolutely INSISTED that Erin and I wear our "housecoats" (that's a robe) while we eat.  Heaven forbid we eat in our Christmas dresses!  Only heathens eat without their housecoats on!